Wednesday, June 21, 2006


Make Your Millions Now, Before Layoffs Kill You...

A word to the wise for all corporate youngsters. Make your millions now because at fifty you will be laid off - and you will very likely die a gruesome death from the effects of stress. Even if you would otherwise live to be ninety, "late life" begins at fifty according to the corporate clock. Mortality will then pursue you like a jogging CEO. A new study conducted over a decade rife with layoffs confirms the obvious. Among old tuskers 51 to 61, layoffs are killers. Of those who suffered heart attacks, 10 percent had them after becoming jobless. Of those who suffered strokes, nearly a quarter blew their arterial fuses while unemployed. Downsizing may seem like murder to some of us softies with that anachronistic trait known as a "conscience", but a Jockocratic CEO of our personal acquaintance was recently heard telling his cronies how the ancient Goths burned themselves on pyres once they got too old for the practice of looting and pillaging. Baritone laughter abounded soon afterward, then one dude remarked, "What's in your wallet?" And another said, "It ain't anything we paid you lately - that's for damn sure..." And they all laughed again.

"Late-Life Job Loss Raises Heart Attack Risk" from

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